the more things change the more I don’t want to stay the same.

22 10 2011

I think for any of this to make sense you should have a slight idea of who I am.  I’m slightly older than I like to admit and I was a student at Tyler School of Art once.  I was an average student who was in school because I was told by my parents it was the right thing to do.  I took for granted everything school could have been and drifted through.  While in the middle of school my parents went through a terrible divorce and I lost my home and at the same time the two people who really took care of everything.  I had to figure out finances, work, a place to live, and school. these events drastically shaped who I am and how I deal with adversity to this day.  Now I needed a place to live and luckily knew some people who needed a third.

I moved into a house and proceeded to party all the time.  This place within a year turned into a haven for dealers and addicts alike.  Heroin became prevalent when pain killers got too expensive, so I ran and lived on other’s couches so that I didn’t have to be around the drugs and could be closer to school. But my running also included copious amounts of alcohol.  I came to a point where I couldn’t keep up mostly because I gave up.  My final year (5th) of school I finally made the necessary changes to turn everything around, but I didn’t and through a connection found out about a job.  I thought this job would be more important in solidifying a future.  I made a few attempts to go back to Temple, but there was always something that didn’t work out right whether it was class schedule or advising.  I got tired of it and decided that if I was serious about completing anything I needed to find a new educational route. Now here I am.

Where I am now is the culmination of a ten year road. Everything is so far behind me that I’m not entirely sure how I start.    It has taken me this long to really figure out what it is I have to say if anything and not often is it that I sit down and analytically think of my own life.  Looking back, any art I make is commentary on where I am/was in life.

Have you seen my keys?!

in a small attempt to organize I made a keyring holder

And the things I create almost seem involuntary.  Because I’ve had a steady place from where art came from I have always been most interested in process.  Learning new technique and applying that process successfully is always a key factor to me.  I’ve been working for the past five years and at the same time I felt like no one wanted to hear a thing I had to say: so I shut up.  I didn’t realize I did it at the time, but when I shut up I barely made any art at all and I wasn’t a happy person.  On the other hand while working I gained a fantastic knowledge and comfort-ability with many processes both machines and techniques alike.  Now I feel like I have something to say again and the ability to say it.  It took me a long time to figure myself out and learn what is important to me.  Finding whats important and being able to analytically think about what it is that I’m trying to say finally makes sense to me.  And now with a family I have the drive to see my education through and capability to create art that I can be proud of.